Tuesday, July 21, 2020

A Perfect Morning

Today was absolutely perfect and I couldn't ask for anything better

It was a blazing sun with scorching heat, but it was beautiful. Emotional, mentally and sorta physically! First thing this morning I woke up and got the boys and myself ready. I did my hair I even put makeup on! That never happens any more. This momma doesn't have time for that. But I spent the most wonderful, quality time with my mom and sister. 

We were on the search for sunflowers over on the other side of Missouri, in what it felt like was 100 degrees out. The first patch we came across, there had to been at least 10 cars parked and you had to walk a good amount just to get to the flowers. At first that idea did not appeal to me, nor did it to my mom and sister, at least I don't imagine it did! We continued on to see if there was any more sunflower patches that were a closer walk. I'd gone last year with Lindsey and we had found one that was right on the side on the road, you didn't have to walk anywhere. It didn't seem like long before we saw a few more cars parked and we could soon see there was another patch of sunflowers! It was  a bit of a walk still but the ground looked much more dry to at least put the boys in the stroller and take them out there. 

That exactly what we did, after a few minutes of getting them all set up and happy we headed towards the dirt road covered with straw. Jeremiah didn't want to be in the stroller which didn't surprise me at all, I thought he might want to walk after the hour long car ride. But nope, he wanted momma to carry him. That is when I realized just how hot it was. I wanna say it was almost noon? And the sun was coming down HOT. When we reached the sunflowers we realized that they had already begun to die, the were weeping. 

Yes we drove an hour to spend all of 15 minutes out in the sun which was miserable hot, we were covered in sweat and the sunflowers where weeping. But it was a beautiful day and I am so unbelievably happy. I don't care that the photos were a bust, that the boys were fussy from the heat, that the bees were everywhere and the sunflowers didn't want to smile for us. I got to spend the morning with my mom and sister, I got to have human contact and interaction with my family. It wasn't raining and it wasn't gloomy. It was sunny and it was bright, I saw a beautiful bird and a big beautiful Monarch butterfly. 

It was perfect.

Though I still won't give up on my search for sunflowers, I want those photos of Rachel's in the middle of the sunflower patch! Sunflowers have a special place in our hearts because of my mom, they're her favorite flowers and Rachel being momma's baby girl has a very special place in her heart from them. 

I am so thankful for today. 

We spent time talking about some issues we're both struggling with, we ate some delicious Freddy's burger and drank some extra caffeinated coffee. The boys behaved after they both were feed and in the air conditioning. I miss days like today, where I know there's more to life than just sitting at home taking care of my boys. Which isn't a bad thing I love being their mom! And I love doing the mom things but I also love having inspiration to do the other things that I love. Photographing and writing. Day's like today give me motivation to do just those things. 

But on top of my incredible morning, I am writing this! Which means my boys are sleeping! Well, Jeremiah is suppose to be sleeping but he is in his room not screaming at least. I'm so grateful I had today, getting the boys out and myself makes me know I can and should do it more often. It benefits us all! 

Until next time! 

Monday, February 17, 2020

Mom of TWO!

All of a sudden my new normal, is a mom of two! Wow, I know last time I wrote it was the day I actually went into labor with my first son, who was born on the 25th and now I am two little boys! Jeremiah is turning 2 here in just a few short months and Josiah is a little older than 3 months. We are back home in St. Louis, nearly family which is actually what we wanted! It just happened a little differently than we thought.

Josh is no longer working for Drury, THANK GOD. That company works my husband to death, since he has left he seems like a different person. He is home way more, he doesn’t answer several calls in the middle of the night, he isn’t bring home work. It’s been a blessings. He now works in construction and is a Realtor. He actually comes home when he is suppose to be off, which alone is one of the best changes in our life since leaving Drury.

What are some of the best changes you might ask?

1) We are back home near family.
2) We remodeled our house to fit our new family.
3) Josiah was born!
4) Josh’s new jobs

With Josiah being born, if I didn’t have Josh’s help I wouldn’t know how to do it. But he is and I can count on him being home, knowing that I will have help. When he worked with Drury, I knew he would never actually be home when he said he would. Because the workers in Springfield where 110% the WORST.

But we’re back home, and I see my mom and friends way more. I’ve actually made new friends, I get out of my house and I go see people. It’s been so good for me. Coffee shops are still a regular thing for me, even with two boys. I am not letting them stop me from doing the things I love, because they need to get out too. They need to learn how to behave in public. I think it is easier for me than most people to get out with their kids because I honestly could care less what people think of me and how my kids are behaving. Because kids are going to be kids and they need the experience out in public to learn how to behave correctly.

I however can NOT WAIT til it gets warmer out and I can talk Jeremiah outside easier to play. Park days are in our future! Park days and Vacation... I am so excited about vacation. Just a few short months away!

Ok, both of the boys are starting to move. I will try to write more, more often! And I will go back and tell stories of the past two years, you can count on that.


Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Pity Party

39 weeks and 3 days, yes still pregnant. I haven’t really been in a bad mood up until like yesterday thats when I woke up just in a foul mood. I am tired. I am exhausted. I am hurting. Everyone who was due around the same time I am has already had their baby. Here I am wishing I was one of them. I am ready to be home with my husband, in my bed, in my home.

Last night was another rough night, I am running on zero sleep. The smile that is usually on my face is missing and I am well aware of it but I have no energy to fix it. Is it weird I think I will get more sleep once the baby is actually here? When I say that out allowed people just laugh at me and say yea right. I just give them one stare and wonder if they really understand the kind of nights I have had for the last month and a half. It’s almost as if my body is use to it, 1:11am...2:11am...3:11am etc. this morning I gave up trying to go back to sleep so I have been sitting in my rocking chair at my moms since 4am this morning.

Cramping was the main reason of why I have been awake today, but per usual I think Jeremiah is just playing with his mom already. They aren’t strong to were I want to cry or rock back and forth but they are bad enough that I can’t/don’t want to lay down. They were coming and going every couple of minutes but of course as soon as I got out of bed and walked downstairs for a bit they started to slow down.

Do I try to go back to sleep? Do I try to get some rest? At this point it seems like a pretty useless idea. I would probably woke up more tired than anything. Yesterday I spent the day walking around the mall with my sister-in-law Nicole trying to walk this baby right out. She is coming back down again today to do some more walking this time outside if its warm enough! #teamwalkjeremiahout

I don’t like feeling cranky or moody, I believe the baby can feel what I feel and I don’t want him to feel that. I thought today would be better than yesterday or at least easier than yesterday to fake it. I was very wrong. If anything I believe today is going to be harder... But that’s ok I waited this long to meet this precious boy what’s another week, right?


Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Feeling Behind This Year!

Goals for next year... Have my life together! I am telling you what typically I am on top of stuff like Christmas and Birthdays. This year that is not the case, last year by Thanksgiving I had all of our Christmas shopping done, even December Birthdays where done! Nope I still have shopping to do and it's less than a week away. 

I am missing my Christmas spirit. I'm unsure if it's because all of the traveling I am doing with the baby, the lack of sleep, or struggling to form a full thought on a daily basis. 

Next year my goal....

1) To at least have a present wrapped and put under the tree for my son. 
2) Actually put real thought into my dearest friends presents. 
3) Be more in the Holiday spirit. 

I think those are good goals. I can't do much about the first two at this point but I sure can about the third. This week will be great. I'm telling myself that right now and believing it. I'm home with my son in my decorated living room, maybe I'll watch more Christmas movies this week, of course if Jeremiah allows me! I'll finish what I need to and then maybe I want to be stressed and worried about Christmas. I almost wish we were staying here in Springfield but my husband would be miserable. I just wish we didn't have to do so much traveling for Jeremiahs first Christmas... we won't even be in our own home Christmas day and I don't like that. The things we do for the ones we love I suppose. 

But we'll be with family thats what matters. <3 

Monday, November 26, 2018

A Day of Rambling

Jeremiah turned seven months yesterday! My little boy isn’t so little anymore, he is growing so fast. It still amazes me how good of a baby he is, I got incredibly lucky. Josh and I went to Once Upon A Child the other day and bought him a bouncer because he LOVES the one at grandmas house. Right now that is what he is doing bouncing in his new bouncer watching Smurfs, screaming and smiling at the TV. We’ve already watching Moana this morning, making our way through the movies early. Last week I manage to get our Christmas decorations up, even did most of our Christmas shopping!

As I am sitting here looking at all the Christmas in my home, there is at least two inches of snow sitting on the ground outside. I had planned on taking Jeremiah to the coffee shop today but I am having trouble finding the motivation to get off the couch today. Feels like one of those snuggle up with hot chocolate and stay inside kind of day. Plus I am out of energy, I can’t seem to get enough sleep these days and my brain has turned into mush. Jeremiah is sleeping in his own bed and in his own room though! He is even sleeping through the night for the most part. The last couple of days have been harder than most, fighting sleep, fighting NAPS. I need him to take those naps because thats when I get our home put back together. I find when our house isn’t put together my mind is scattered. This momma doesn’t do well with a messy mind and a dirty house, its a recipe for disaster.

Today I am hoping to straight out a few things and figure out what it is I need to do. December is such a crazy month, too many things to keep up with and remember. Especially living in Springfield and everything is in St. Louis... Thank God Jeremiah is doing better on car rides!

So... todays plan. Grab paper and a pen then write out all the plans. Things like all the cookie days and Christmas we have to go to, whats left to buy, the couple of trips to St. Charles! I’m super excited about that one, I’m excited about all of it just not looking forward to the crazy business of it.

XOXO until next time!

Thursday, November 15, 2018

Winter is Here

It’s the first snow of the holiday season and its beautiful. I’m snuggled up on the couch with my sleeping baby. The parents are on their way to pick up my brother across the river, my sister is upstairs snoozing and Jeremiah is taking his mid-morning nap. I’ve been staying at moms a while, my sweet husbands been deer hunting for about a week now, I miss him terribly.

I like being here though I don’t get so lonely, everything is here family, friends, inspiration, motivation.  Lindsey just had her babies a week ago yesterday! I am hoping to go see them later today, I miss my friend and can’t wait to get my hands on those babies! I am so lucky to have an amazing friendship, she makes such a beautiful impact on my life. Best of all we get to share motherhood together!

As I sit here watching the snow continue to fall I can’t help think of all the wonderful things God is doing in my life, sometimes its overwhelming. I am continuously trying to grow my photography business, getting more serious about it each day that passes. Trying to sell images on Shutterstock, I’m more willing to do sessions now, even did a wedding last month. I enjoyed this one 10x’s more than the first couple of weddings I did.

It’s tough trying to take care of Jeremiah and work on photography. I have to remind myself to make time, photography like a sport I have to keep practicing to stay good otherwise I loose my touch... Some thing I have come to realize is I don’t have the imagination I once had, I use to be able to pull out my camera and just snap a shot. That’s not the case any more at least not yet, I’m hoping if I’m doing it on a regular it’ll come back to me as easy as it once was.

Maybe sometime later this week I will post a few of the pictures I took this’s morning. <3

Until then, enjoy this wonderful weather! It’s beautiful.


Thursday, October 18, 2018

Living My Dream

Jeremiah is fast asleep... all is calm in our home. This momma is trying to find some energy, there is so much to be done around the house. Instead I am sitting here thinking about Saturday, I have a wedding to photograph and it’s going to be a long day without my baby. I’m both excited and nervous about photographing a wedding, it’ll be my third one I’ve done. I just want to make sure I do a good job.

Like I was telling my mom the other day, it’ll be my first time interacting with adults that aren’t family in a long while. Will I remember how to have normal conversation that isn’t about baby? It’ll be hard I’m sure! The first couple months of being a new mom have been perfect, but I’m sure it’ll be nice to do something I love again unbaby related.

Welp, that was a very fast nap Jeremiah is now awake, I swear all my son knows how to do is cat-nap. It’s pretty good timing though we are about to pick up his dad and bring him some lunch! It’ll be nice to get out of the house, it takes a lot of energy to get me and baby out of the house. Once we are out it feels great, just takes a whole lot of convincing.

I’m going to leave the laundry untouched, I did however do the dishes so I wasn’t a complete bum. Maybe later tonight I’ll find the motivation to do some cleaning, until then... I might do some reading, take a walk around the park, do a Starbucks run or I might just continue to sit on the couch after we go see Josh. Who knows!

Want to end this post by saying how much I love my life and how grateful I am for my husband who supports me which allows me to be a stay home mom. Which has always been my dream, I am living my dream. I’m 23 years old, I found the love of my life, who has given me the second love of my life, Jeremiah. Whom I get to spend all day, every day with what more could I ever ask for?


A Perfect Morning

Today was absolutely perfect and  I couldn't ask for anything better .  It was a blazing sun with scorching heat, but it was bea...